Wednesday, July 1, 2015

I never wanted a sequel

I never wanted to have breast cancer twice. I didn't want it once. I know as a writer, blogging keeps me sane. I wrote several of the following blogs as it was happening and I'll publish them in the order they were written. I wanted to wait until I knew for sure, had a game plan and notified the people I loved who read my blogs so they wouldn't see the news on line. I will continue to blog. We are heading to Geneva tomorrow and I have an appointment with the same surgeon as before on Monday to get those little suckers out of my body.

I spent a few minutes this morning in front of the mirror staring at my naked chest. One breast if normal, the other has a scar over a nipple.

The week has been turbulent since two "Nodules" were found. I've had my blood test, the appointments for the biopsy and a MRI/IRM.

The idea of facing another cancer round is upsetting at best. I had done so well on the first. Not only is it documented in this blog I published a book to give to other anglophone breast cancer patients who might be scared of facing things in their second language or in a language they don't understand.

My housemate faced the same thing, lost the breast but needed no follow up chemo.

It is not losing the breast that scares me. I was flat chested so much of my life it is not a problem.

It's the chemo that scares me.

With the first bout my housemate J was incredible supportive. I hope I was supportive of her. I wish there were no need to be supportive.

My new husband says it doesn't matter that I might lose a breast. I'm not my breasts.

If it is cancer again, I want those evil little cells out and they can take the tissue around them too.

Stop annoying me cancer. Once was enough.

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